Yellow leather wedding shoes!

Mum, Aimee,JuJu and I were sat in the living room chatting in our jeans when I suddenly looked at my watch and it was 2.30pm. "Shit" I screamed. "I am getting married in half and hour and I haven´t even started getting ready." Then I began to berate my mum and sister for not telling me the time. I pulled out the shoe box which contained my wedding shoes, which I had made in Vietnam. To my horror they were yellow leather stiletto´s with little patterns cut in - ughh.

Anyway, I began to get ready and found myself at a cosmetics counter in an old fashioned shop. I started to apply a light brown eye shadow and when I looked it the mirror my eyes were made up with hideous dark green glitter shadow. Luckily the giggling shop assistant provided me with some eye make up remover. I checked my watch again and it was 14.55 and Jay was standing next to me. I panicked and told him to go away because it was bad luck for him to see me before the wedding. To my relief I was still in my slip and not my frock (obviously - I always go to the shops in my underwear). Then the shop assistant told me to take off my silver earrings because they didn´t go. I realised that I had forgotten to buy my acessories and most importantly my lacy stocking hold ups!

By now I am really stressed out. I suddenly find myself in my wedding dress with the shop assistant laughing at me. I look down and lift up my dress to discover that the yellow shoes have turned into black wedge platforms that I used to wear back in the 80s. Strangely I was also wearing a pair of jeans under my dress which must have been replacing the stockings (this must be a flash back to the bride model shoot we witnessed in Qingdao, China). A quick glance at the watch and it was now 15.45 - I was over 45 minutes late and in such a state I managed to wake my self up. To my relief it was all a dream.

The dreams!

Realised that I said in my introduction that there will be some mention of my strange dreams and I haven´t told you about them yet. When we first got engaged I dreamt that Jason turned up at the altar wearing his rugby shirt! I was so angry because he was going to ruin the photos.

I have also had darker dreams where I am in my wedding dress and someone hands me a card which I open and black soot falls down the front of my dress and ruins it - very strange.

The thing is none of these dream books I pick up have my dreams in. The weirdest dream I ever had was at University and no I wasn´t taking Larium at the time. We had a dream wall in our house and mine were always the strangest followed by Kathryn who had fetish dreams about Tug from Home and Away. Anyway, the weird dream, I dreamt that I was a raw sausage in a sausage factory. I was leaning against a stainless steel work surface like the ones in school canteens. My sister was there (she wasn´t a sausage) and I told her that I had skin cancer (obviously) and could she pass on my skin to another sausage once I had gone. When I told my house mates this they looked at me very strangely and Kathryn asked if I had arms and legs to which I replied ´No I was just a raw sausage´. I wonder if that is why I am vegetarian?

Ugh - The Wedding Budget

As the internet is so cheap in Bolivia (30p an hour)I decided to start with a bit of wedding planning as it is less than a year away. First priority is obviously to set the budget and work out who is paying for what. Gulp - I had a look at some websites and boy there are millions of items for the budget lines. Things such as corsarges and presents for the guests. Why do you have to give the guests presents I ask you? They are getting fed and watered so why give them some tacky momento that they will probably a) leave it on the table, b) eat it because they are pissed c) throw it at another guest! Sod the favours I say!